It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World
by SchizophrenicFrankie
Summary: The Australian outback isn't the best hiding spot for Junkrat and Roadhog, who are pursued left and right by crazed gun toting Junkers. When the two ruffians are finally caught, it's up shit creek without a paddle and they have to claw their way out of the situation before Junkrat loses his mind... or what's left of it.
1. Chapter 1

**I watched Mad Max:Fury Road after I played Overwatch and just started writing. Have a Junkrat and Roadhog story that I will update in due time.**

Hearing the telltale shrill laugh of the kookaburra was nothing new to Junkrat. He enjoyed its sounds, they reminded him of himself in a way, not near as manic as his laughter, though. The evening sun warmed his skin one last time as he peered up and saw black slowly streaking across the sky, the stars he hoped to see never appearing. As if on cue he felt a shiver as the cool night breeze blew over his naked back, his riptire cast off on the sand to ease his aching spine. His attention was drawn away as a large hand tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned his head to see Roadhog by his side with a hot can of baked beans. The large man didn't wait for his full acknowledgement as he roughly shoved the can into Junkrat's hands, giving a muffled grunt as he did so.

"Roadie, you ain't still mad after today are ya?" Junkrat said as he jostled the hot can in his hands. Roadhog gave another grunt, this one more guttural, as he stared at the other can on the fire.

"Look, we both didn't know what would happen, it's not my fault he got in the way." Junkrat said, annoyance sprinkling his voice as he looked up at his accomplice. "Besides, we got away, mate. Be thankful of that."

Roadhog ignored him and picked up the can straight form the fire with his calloused hands, not caring for burns, and brought it to his masked mouth. Slowly, his other hand clicked the straps open and he lifted the bottom of his mask up, and rasped at the unfiltered air. Junkrat cautiously leaned to peek at what was under the mask as Roadhog tipped the can up and gulped down the beans hungrily. He did not leave Junkrat long as he flipped the mask down, and the young Junker could see a warning glint in Roadhog's eye beneath his goggles as he caught him spying. To reinforce his annoyance, his large hand crushed the empty can with a snap, making Junkrat look away uneasily.

"Don't do it again, Jamison." His gruff voice wheezed at his partner, who only took a skittish glance in his direction.

"Sorry, Roads. I didn't know you'd be so mad. It's not like we've got into situations worse than that. Remember Dorado? That was a beautiful mission if I do say so myself-" he was cut short by a loud thud, and looked around to see that Roadhog has collapsed onto his makeshift sleeping bag, exhausted. Junkrat didn't want to further anger the brute, so he shut up for now, and kept himself busy by fiddling with his mechanical arm. It had been quite the day, and to be honest he was quite tired himself. He was surprised that they managed to escape the little tangle they had got themselves caught in, a weary smile spreading across his face as he recounted the day's events.

He decided to stare back up at the encroaching blackness that was the Australian night. There were no stars, despite his wishes, as the smog clouds covered them from view high above. He sighed and absentmindedly scratched the scars on his knee, giving out a tired sigh as his fingers met with metal not too far down. He couldn't remember the last time he saw his flesh limbs, all he had left were these stupid prosthetics that broke all the time. At least they were easily fixed, unlike a broken arm.

As he continued to gaze at nothing in particular, his mind drifting off to another world, his eyelids slowly dropped down. The fire didn't help, it was so warm and the amber glow was so comforting to him, that before he knew it, he was drifting off into a sitting slumber. The kookaburra continued its chatter with nothing in particular, its cheery laughter echoing around the small hollow the two Junkers were in. The dying eucalyptus leaves swayed on their branches as the cool nightly breeze blew by. The moon appeared over the horizon, in its endless race with the sun.

The two men were oblivious to the danger approaching them, despite the peace. Not too far away, there was the distant roar of mad engines as smoke billowed up and fire illuminated rusted exhausts. The faces they showed in their glow were not friendly, half of them behind dust masks as they hollered battle cries into the night. The temporary peace of the Junker's sleep was short lived as Junkrat cracked his eyes open and snapped up to see what the approaching commotion was about. His breath hitched as he limped quickly to his partner and shook him on the shoulder.

"Psst! Roadie, mate! Come on, we have to leave-" He couldn't finish as the larger man had instinctively grabbed his scrawny neck with his hand, however was quick to release when he realized who it was.

"What?" He asked.

"Bandersnatcher! He's found us, Hog! Look, on the horizon!" Junkrat screeched as he scrambled around gathering up the supplies as best he could, his eyes wide with panic as the mad howls got louder and louder. Roadhog took a moment to assess the situation, ignoring his frightened employer who was frantically running around like a headless emu. Finally, he moved, getting onto the bike and coughing to get the scrawny man's attention.

"Get in." Roadhog said, and Junkrat was more than happy to oblige, leaping into the sidecar as with a couple of revs the old Harley Davidson roared into the night. They powered through the dead forest, the kookaburra and other birds scattering in alarm, as Junkrat bit his finger anxiously. He gave a frightened, shaky laugh as he peered behind him and saw the encroaching vehicles. Junkrat's nervous laughter continued as he searched the sidecar and found a couple of traps and mines, setting them with ease before throwing them into the dust behind them.

There was a sudden jolt that shook the bike, and both Junkers looked around in surprise. Junkrat's eyes went wide as the speedometer plummeted and the engine began hacking and coughing. He looked at Roadhog, who jostled with the steering wheel and the ignition, but it was in vain as the bike came to a sudden halt. Both men took a moment to stare forward in shock before their attention was drawn by the booming revs of the gang in the distance, their screeches and howls in battle tongue drawing closer, the open desert landscaped only making the situation seem more hopeless. Junkrat hastily grabbed his grenade launcher as he fiddle in loading the thing, even his robotic arm shaking with unease. Roadhog readied himself of the upcoming fight, but as the vehicles got closer he began to feel worry course through his veins. The gap was closing as Junkrat mumbled frantically to himself, giving the odd chuckle at his jokes. Both Junkers stood side by side, but quickly became disorientated as the large cars drove in circles around them, their wheels kicking up clouds of dust, obscuring Roadhog's view and making Junkrat splutter. They were trapped, and once the dust settled, all they could hear was cheering and metal bashing on metal. Junkrat didn't have time to register as his accomplice fell onto his knees, his body freezing in alarm as he saw a harpoon impaled in Roadhog's shoulder. They were really in deep shit now.

"Roadie!" He cried, growling at the mob, who laughed at his downed companion. Junkrat could hear the other man's voice become ragged as he rasped, but got up to his feet and stood protectively in front of him. The howling and clanging was starting to hurt Junkrat's head, and he found it hard to concentrate. He was beginning to wonder why they hadn't killed them yet, and finally decided on a course of action.

"Bandersnatcher!" He called, and Roadhog tilted his head to him in slight confusion. "Your wives are lovely and all, but I would like to see **your** pretty face smilin' at me." He chuckled at his own bad joke, and the mob around them both shut up. The ringing in his ears subsided as Junkrat saw a figure walk forward, the crowd parting for him. His many tattoos and crudely stitched cheek were enough to tell Junkrat this was Bandersnatcher. His soot covered face and wolfish snarl contrasted with his clear blue eyes, making Junkrat scoff.

"Ah, you got your mother's eyes. Such a lovely trait o' yours." He mused, sniggering, but the other man could tell he was shitting bricks. Junkrat inwardly cursed as the man's eyes bored into his in a challenging stare before a throaty chuckled escaped the man's cracked lips. It got louder and soon his party was laughing along with him.

"Ah, Junkrat, always one for jokes. That's your second worse trait." He said, and Junkrat simply smiled back. Roadhog observed the two and scoffed as Bandersnatcher took a glance at him.

"What are you here for, Bandersnatcher?" Junkrat inquired, although he suspected he knew the answer. Bandersnatcher's eyes went wide before he howled in gleeful laughter, and Junkrat lost his smile for a moment.

"Don't pretend to be that fucking clueless, I took you for an idiot but this is ridiculous."

"Look, what I did back there was an accident, mate. Surely we can put everything behind us and not kill me?" Junkrat nervously joked as he heard his heart beating faster than usual. The mob had grown silent once again, and their eyes and masks were really starting to get to him. Bloody radiation poisoning.

"You think I'm here because of that little tussle? You twat, I'm here because you've got a pretty little secret rattling around in that thick skull of yours, and I want it out. So come on, Jamie," Junkrat felt the Bandersnatcher's hot putrid breath against his skin as the man leaned in and smiled patronisingly, "Where's your treasure?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2, and leaving it on a cliffhanger. Bandersnatcher is an arsehole.**

Bandersnatcher really did a number on him, but it was a bit of an overreaction. All Junkrat did was bite half his ear huffed as he nursed his bruised cheek, his split lip and eyebrow splintered with crusted, dried blood. Glancing up at Roadhog, he flashed him a goofy, crooked toothed grin, and the larger man whacked him around the back of the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He said, looking up at his partner.

"For being an idiot." Roadhog scolded behind his mask, and Junkrat looked taken aback. He looked around the cramped interior of the truck, the muffled conversations of Bandersnatcher's followers being heard from the outside. Junkrat caught a glance at the moon as it disappeared from view, the truck jolting around as it hit bumps on the road.

"We've gotten outta tougher situations than this, Roads, it'll be easy." Junkrat said optimistically, and the larger man turned to face him. Junkrat could see his eyes stare into him behind the mask, and he felt his smile drop.

"Yeah, and what happened?" Roadhog said, causing Junkrat to grimace and instinctively put a hand on his mechanical leg. The scrawny man was almost flung out of his seat as the truck came to a sudden stop, jolting violently forward as it did. Both Junkers looked at the door as it was flung open, and a man in a dust mask approached them, crowbar in hand. He stood behind them, and coughed a couple of times, before speaking.

"Get out of the van, please." He said. The men got up and Junkrat smiled goofily.

"See, Hoggy, even for a merciless bandit he's polite." Junkrat said, gesturing to his accomplice, who mumbled an insult under his mask. Both Junker's stepped out of the truck to see that they were in a deep ravine, where a small camp was. The moonlight did not reach down here, so the only light was provided by gas lanterns and campfires, and Junkrat felt uneasy as they illuminated faces and masks. A number of thugs were scattered around the ravine eating, however their attention was drawn to the two infamous Junkers who strolled through their camp. They were ushered, or in Junkrat's case jabbed forward towards a shack made out of an assortment of scrap metal, where Bandersnatcher stood, arms folded and a pleased grin on his face. Junkrat was tempted to finish his assault and bite the man's whole ear off, but he decided against it as it would only piss Roadhog off more.

"Welcome to my camp, gentlemen," Bandersnatcher started and Junkrat peered behind him to see the mob staring at him with wild, unblinking eyes, "Don't worry about them, I would let them kill ya, but then we wouldn't learn your little secret." The man said, drawing Junkrat's attention back. He gestured for them to follow him into the shack, however put a hand up when Roadhog started to walk through door. Junkrat heard his large footsteps stop, and whipped around just as Bandersnatcher slammed the door, leaving them in moderate darkness.

"Roadie! Just stay put, mate!" Junkrat shouted, and looked at the other Junker who chuckled, before shouting to his gang.

"Leave the big bloke alone, guys! You can have ya fun later!" He ordered, and Junkrat felt a chill at the second part. He looked around the interior of the cabin, his eyes adjusting to the dark, and saw that it was very empty, save for a couple of sharp looking objects on the wall.

"Look, mate, you're heading into some serious territory if you hurt him." Junkrat snarled at the man, who continued to smirk at him. Despite his height, Junkrat felt intimidated by Bandersnatcher. It might be down to the cricket bat strapped on his back.

"Besides, when has democracy ever failed us, rig-" Junkrat did not finish his sentence as Bandersnatcher laid a punch on his jaw, knocking him backwards onto his knees. He got up swiftly and lunged at the man, who dodged it and called out.

"On second thoughts, fellas, go ahead and rip the yobbo apart!" He shouted, and Junkrat ran to the door as he heard howling and struggling outside.

"No! You stop them right now, you bastard." He said, his eyes burning with anger at Bandersnatcher.

"Only if you won't fight back. I'm not usually one to bend the rules, but for you two I'll make an exception." He said and grinned as he saw Junkrat's eyes darting around in panicked thought. He heard a muffled yell from Roadhog outside, and that did it.

"Alright, fine." He said, casting a defeated look at the ground. Bandersnatcher took a moment to bask in his small victory as he yelled outside for his men to stop their assault. Junkrat limped forward and stared at the other man in rage, flinching as he brought his fist up. Bandersnatcher struck another blow across the young Junker's face, sending him stumbling backwards, and before he had time to recover he was greeted with another punch to his nose, and felt a crunch as it broke. He fell to the ground, and spat blood onto the dirt ground, and instinctively tried to clamber away. He heard a crack, and jumped as the baseball bat landed right beside his head, hitting his robotic arm. Bandersnatcher repeated this, yelling as he beat the arm Junkrat squirming under the boot that held him. He looked up at the door, where an eerie silence had fallen outside. He cried out in alarm when he saw his robotic arm mangled and rendered useless, before the painful weight on his back lifted and he frantically crawled into the corner of the room.

"You are just like a rat, I can see where you got your name. Skittish, skinny and a complete disgrace to your kind." Bandersnatcher chuckled as he stared the other man down. Junkrat didn't like this one bit, this man gave off an aura that was unlike any other, something that made him feel vulnerable and small. A small smile crept up on his lips as he thought of it, it was so silly. He felt his nose burn and blood drip down, and he felt his eye swell up. He leaned against the wall and gave a challenging stare at Bandersnatcher, who ran at him and swung the bat, and his mind was briefly knocked into blackness.


End file.
